Saturday 25 February 2012

Brothels // First Hangover

So yesterday was an interesting days. Weekends are always interesting. Angry people wanting the council to shut their noisy neighbor's dogs up, requests for brothels, and a lot of pub trivia ( 2 squares and 4 rectangles make a cuboid! WTF a cuboid is, I'll never know.)

Yesterday I had a gentleman call up asking me for a brothel. Actually, ALL the brothels in his local area. I've only learned this call type recently, so I wasn't 100% sure how to go about looking for what he needed. I just googled the word 'Brothel' and his city, and I clicked the most likely link to give me what he wanted. I was taking a while though, as our computers are a bit slow and he decided hitting on me was the best way to pass the time. 

'What's your number?'
I gave him the directory assistance number. He and his friends laughed.
"You sound so sexy."
"I'm afraid if you keep that up I'll have to hang up on you."
"But I'm just so switched on by your voice."
I remain silent.

He talks to his mates for a moment.

"Are you still there?"
"Yes, I am just getting a text message ready for you now."
"You know what I'd do to you? I'd lay you out and I'd kiss yo-"
"I don't think my husband would like that."
"Oh no, he would. He could stand in the corner and watch as I-"
"Well, I have that text message ready for you, it's on it's way now. And I would like to say, that YOU'D be the one in the corner."

And then I hung up.

I'm worried that my call might have been recorded, or that I might get in trouble for my conduct. 

Cross your fingers for me for the next few weeks!

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I've decided I'll also pick a random picture from my extensive picture files and tell you a story about it at the end of each blog. We'll see how long I can keep this up.



This is me, age 15 or 16. My Chelsea hawk had fallen, and I was suffering from my first hangover. Though I hated the band those days, I had promised myself when I was about 11 or 12 that if Good Charlotte ever came to my province, I'd have to go see them. Well, I like to keep my promises, so I went. I moshed, I wandered around, I bought some merchandise, and then we went camping. As you do. We had stupidly NOT set up our campsite before the concert, so it was about 1 AM when we got the tent up, and then we waded into a freezing cold lake and passed around a bottle of Jack. There were 4 of us, and Keith was our only male, and our only friend who could legally get alcohol. So all four of us were in a lake in the middle of no where after driving 2 hours to get to a campsite after a shitty concert, getting drunk. We had a blue permanent marker and we decided that drawing on each other in the moonlight was a fantastic idea. "We're in a lake!" we thought. "It'll wash off easily!" we thought. Obviously, as this is the day after (I think at about 4 AM, when the sun was just rising) we were proven wrong. I had a belly full of Jack Daniels, a headache from the Jack Daniels, and I woke up clutching an empty Coke bottle for dear life. I apparently looked 'adorable' and Keith grabbed my camera and took this snap of me.

It was a good night.

2 comments:

  1. Oh man, that is the best/worst call centre story ever. I hope you don't get in trouble for it!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks sweetcheeks, I hope no one catches it!

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